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According to sex therapist Tracy Moore, having casual sex has nothing to do with the moral character of the people involved. People who think they’re having casual sex are “probably having it with someone they’re really interested in,” she says. “You have so many more opportunities for having good sexual experiences through casual sex that it doesn’t undermine your overall sense of self, even if you are hurt or crushed,” Moore says. Instead, it’s more about keeping your guard up. On top of all the risks of other kinds of sexual encounters, even with the best of people, every casual hookup comes with the possibility of being let down. It’s up to you to protect yourself. So, long story short, even though, for the most part, casual sex isn’t necessarily all that bad, it comes with consequences that could range from just mildly awkward to downright painful. But, doesn’t anything worth having come with potential risks? Should I give casual sex a chance? That depends. First, are you emotionally ready for casual sex? It’s not going to go well if you’re worried that having casual sex will somehow be your downfall. On top of that, you need to communicate your boundaries in a way that’s fun and playful. This isn’t the time to be formal or put someone down. Instead, it’s all about making each other feel important. Whether you’re going through a messy break-up, or going solo after a long term relationship, the first step is to relax and cut yourself some slack. It’s okay to feel like you want to stay where you are for the time being. Consider taking a break, maybe plan a “time out”, or learn how to meditate. It’s okay to love and cherish your body and your self-esteem. You are a woman! Embrace that right now, without reservation. Once you feel like your head is on straight, consider what you’re looking for in casual sex. Is casual sex with you a temporary stop-gap, or do you really want to be doing this all the time? There are many different kinds of casual sex out there that range from the fun side of casual encounters to one-time transactional encounters to sex parties and orgies, but they all share the same concepts of consent, boundaries and the clear expectations that both parties have when entering into a casual hookup. Author Bio: Shane
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As long as you’re getting all the important stuff down, casual sex shouldn’t be. Here, Dr. Ley cozies up with a casual hookup, her kids and dog in tow. The low-stakes, date-not-date game is a great way to see what might be your “one” or “it.” “I can just jump in, say I’m low on cash, and have a terrific time,” she says. But the key is to know what you’re getting into. “Sometimes what we assume to be casual sex is something more serious than we want it to be.” With so many options available on dating apps, it should be simple to find the right person for casual sex. While there are many platform-specific apps, most casual hookup apps function in the same way. You basically give access to your profile, along with location information, and then you can easily access and chat with other people in your area. While you can use these apps to find no-strings sex partners, sites like may be more suited to women who are looking for a “normal,” committed relationship in the future. Should you have casual sex? No. But a casual fling isn’t always a bad idea. But if you’re going to have sex, you’re going to want to make sure that you get in line a bit early at the buffet. The closer you get to the table, the more likely you are to be disappointed. Just saying. So where should you go? The decision isn’t easy to make, and it has nothing to do with where you were born. “It’s more an accident of geography than biology,” says Dr. Ley. Your choice largely depends on where you live, your income, and your sexual experiences. The options in each area of the country are pretty great, but what you should look for in a city are things like a diverse population — perhaps not in terms of race but in terms of age and ability — as well as a low cost of living, for example. Easy sex apps make any night stand a good time for casual sex Costs go down the further you get away from the center of a metropolitan area, but good quality casual sex can still be found in upscale neighborhoods. “The options close to the center may be more difficult to find if you don’t have the money for it,” says Dr. Ley. But where is the best place for casual sex? Dr. Ley says she’s biased towards Los


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